Gastronomía es una palabra, sólo una palabra

[cocuyo]

After the old man died, we finally could sleep through the night and think about new year's eve. We wanted to do something special, so we decided to go to a newly reopened restaurant in Garçón, in one of the "dieciocho plantas" at the top floor. It was said to have been good, and the local paper Sierra Maestra had an article on the reopening with a favourable review.

There's an express lift on the outside of the building, where you must report your reservation before being admitted, and you get a number scribbled on a piece of paper. Up we went, and there there's a waiting-room, where you can wait to be seated. We sat there for well over half an hour, before our number was called and we were guided to a table. It has a hilarious view over a couple of the poorest parts of Santiago. The restaurant looks very nice, recently remodeled, and we ordered "cerdo a la santiaguera", which is supposed to be a slice of ham rolled up with a slice of cheese and deep fried.

This restaurant takes moneda nacional, and they had only one kind of beer, Mayabe. We had our second Mayabe before the food came in after about half an hour. The roll of meat was already cool, and the thing looked like a - maybe you guessed it - mojón, a turd. My wife would not eat it. And there was no cheese.

I have eaten in quite a few Cuban restaurants by now, but I cannot say that I even once had a delicious meal in a restaurant. It doesn't matter if it's an expensive CUC restaurant or if it's less expensive with moneda nacional. The incompetence seems to be spread into all kinds of business, the boasting about gastronomy is only thin air. Gastronomy in Cuba is but a word, a long word, too long to bother about its interpretation. They simply don't know what it means. I ate my turd and half my wife's, because I was hungry, and we took the remaining part home for later. I couldn't say it was cheap, although I have forgotten the price. I think the three of us paid just about one and a half month's salary for a teacher.

I had lunch once with one of the girls in the band I once sponsored, in another place, La Terraza at Plaza Dolores. Same thing there; we took pollo asado, which shouldn't be difficult to cook, but the place was sloppy, the chicken leg not completely cooked, and the congrí was served cold. Rafi ate as if it had been some time since she saw food, and I picked a few pieces of it and ingested. My impression remains, it is difficult to find a decent place to eat, at least in Santiago. I know one good restaurant in Havana, but it always has a long queue.

Maybe the worst anticlimax was the two times my wife ordered an entremés de jamón, the first time in Las Enramadas, the second time in Casa Granda. Both times it was not ham, but what they call "jamón viqui" (or jamonada (de jamón nada)), pressed meat of unclear origin. When not even a "luxury" place as Casa Granda can serve what's on the list, then I guess there's no help for it. I get better food buying from the neighbours that have a sandwich stand in the street. I can even see when they slaughter the pig. And it is cheaper.. I won't go to Casa Granda ever more; why would I ask them to fuck me harder? And I don't go to Las Enramadas either, once is enough. When I order ham, there shall be ham on the plate, nothing else.

And that's the thing with Cuba, everything is false, from beginning to end. There's no honesty, nobody seems to care at all. I'm getting tired of the place, and I feel limited. It's my thirteenth time, I didn't make any "research trips" as our local king on the board, and I never really was a "tourist" in the way "tourist" is perceived in Cuba. When I travel, I just go about my own business in a new place, just as I do at home, and in most places in the world, I feel that I am respected. In Cuba, you don't get any respect, they just want your money, and they prefer not giving anything back. You give them their token money in the restaurant and they serve you token food. I remember my first visit to a Cuban restaurant, also in Plaza Dolores, a fish restaurant. A couple of incinerated mackerel, with the only excuse that it was cheap. Now it is not even cheap.

[Mercy]

Jamon Vicky. It is all the rage in Miami. The Cubans have brought over their Revolution ham. It is sold in the Sedanos. Like Publix or Whole Foods would serve that.

Anyhoo....if it is made with the proper ingredients. It is edible.

Give me a cured pork leg anytime. The other day, a friend of my husband brought over a smoked ham which he had made at home. Wow, that was GREAT.

I have a cookbook from a cuban named Nitza Villapol. That was cuisine that was known in Cuba before Fidel decided to turn the whole place into a toilet with no Gastronomia, Arte, Cultura or Fashion. The only shit you hear about in Cuba is the Revolution. dats dat.

I was sitting with the women and most of them had no idea what Salsa Inglesa (worcesteshire) is. We were making REAL FRITAS and that is an important ingredient to bring flavor to the meat. Santo Dios.

It will take years for Cuba to come back into the civilized world again. Then again, I know lots of people who like it just the way it is. hmmm..

[Yanet]

Cocuyo, you have to agree, Cubans make great desserts. I haven't experienced any hotel food (AIs don't count), but casa particular food is usually delicious. Never been to paladares in Stg de Cuba, only in Havana, had a favourite that was across street from Habana Libre Hotel (forget the name), they made good tortillas.

I did have a good meal in Los Colorados hotel, had grouper and it was yummy, but meat..forget it. Poor sickly animals don't stand a chance, dead or alive. No fat on them, no flavour.

What amazes me is that Cuban food tasted great in Miami, how does that work? Well, the vieja ropa that I had anyway.

[cocuyo]

Yanet, I did have really well made food once in a restaurant in Havana, so I wouldn't say that it does not exist, but it is an exception, not the rule.

The meat in Cuba is in fact very good quality, there's no broiler except in the Ditú stands and the shopin. The chicken we were served at La Terraza was not well done, but the raw material had been first class. The only problem that it was still raw.

Now I have eating habits that might seem peculiar. I haven't fallen for the fad of avoiding fat and cholesterol, in fact I prefer supplying my metabolism fat instead of carbs. I don't eat desserts, but my wife has a taste for them. So I cannot tell whether they are great or not. But I do know that what was served at the Casa Granda as ham was not ham. What pisses me off is that whatever you order in Cuba, and whatever you buy, you can expect a cheap imitation. When it comes to food it is a very bleak one.

In the street, I can see what kind of meat it is, and if I want a hind leg of a pig, I get it. Those pigs are raised in the back yard with leftovers. They have plenty of fat and the meat is better than I can buy in the shops here in Europe. It is not drenched in water as has been the habit here for decades (in order to keep the weight as high as possible).

You ought to take a trip to Spain for a comparison. There's where you'll get good eating.

But it is amazing, that the quality is better in the street than at a luxury hotel.

[Mercy]

The problem with the quality of the food in Cuba is you are usually lacking the seasoning which will make the meal tasty.

The staple seasoning for a Cuban dish is: Salt, Pepper, Oregano, Cummin, and Garlic. Then, for the sofrito, you will need, onion and green peppers. Then, you might need tomato sauce. It's pretty difficult to get all these ingredients at one time.

Most of the time, all you get is salt. Not enough to make any meal tasty. In the Casas and even family homes, this is different. Every time I have gone to Cuba, I take all the "sasones" with me.

As for the Cuban desserts, Flan, Arroz con Leche and Natilla are the staples, along with maybe a Panetela. The problem most of the times is finding the eggs!

For example, the traditional Cuban flan is made with Milk, Condensed Milk and Evaporated milk, Eggs and Vanilla. Then you need Sugar to make the Caramelo. But, most of the time, the evaporated milk is left out because it is very difficult to find. Condensed milk is very expensive and only available in La Shoping. So, they will make it with whole milk, eggs, sugar and vanilla. NOT the same flan because this flan will be more "watery" than the real flan which is a bit firmer.

Here in Miami, it is different. We have all these ingredients. Therefore, the end result is perfection of the TRADITIONAL Cuban Cuisine.

[cocuyo]

Of cours I mostly eat at home, and we have brought seasoning from abroad. I'm not very fond of my wife's cooking at all times, as she tends to overcook just anything, but she's used to have to make sure that food is sterile, that it does not contain microbes or parasites that may harm you. But in La Terraza, they served chicken (hen legs) that were raw in the middle. I'm not sensitive to food poisoning, I have what they call an iron stomach, and I had no problem with it other than the complaint that it is not well done, and it is rather typical of the places where I have been in Cuba. Once we had a good meal in a restaurant, in Havana, but we had to wait for almost an hour in the queue, and then another half hour before the order was taken, and about 45 minutes before the food came in, but then it was well done and plentiful. We ate the leftovers the next day for lunch.

Miami is a different thing altogether. I have eaten very well in Miami, Cuban food as well as Mexican and American and Italian. If I should guess the reasons why Cuba's standards are so bad, it's probably because it won't matter to them whether you return to their place or not. They're simply not interested; they are serving time at their workplace; they're not there for you.

[Mercy]

You hit the mark Sr. Cocuyo. The business is not theirs. They don't give a crapper whether you come back or not. If you leave a tip, it gets put into a communal jar and everyone shares it. No matter if you were the bum waiter or the good one. So, that does not motivate anyone to do a good job.

Everyone gets paid whether they sold or not. No one gives a shit.

This is what bothers me most. It's the ATTITUDE. This is why 90% of the people who arrive from Cuba go into shock when they have to work here. It is because you are working for someone who does give a crapper if people come back or not. And, if they don't come back because it is your fault, you are out the door.

I know a lady who lives next door to my in-laws. She wanted to come to Miami badly. She is a manicurist. The profession of choice for most women in Cuba; which they do horribly. That's another thread.

She started working in a beauty salon. Her complaint was, "Can you imagine, I start at 9 a.m. and have to work till 6 p.m. One client right after another and I only get 1 hour to have lunch. They are exploiting me". Oh brother.....Needless to say, she is back in Cuba. She left her husband here and he sends her money so she can live a life accostumed to what she lived in Cuba.

[frodo]

I have been ranting and complaining about the food and services in cuba for years yes throw in the sanitation too : they just dont seem to get it ?? It will never change till they get civilized people there cooking ; this goes for all hotels they cook strickly by the book 2 star hotel this ;3 star that and so on up the levels ; I will admit cuban ham large butts and legs roasted in the oven has got to be the tastiest ; unlike the tastless crap we get up here; I guess it is because the hogs in cuba are fed the slop from the hotels in the civilized world thats not allowed ; same thing with free range chicken eggs .

[Mercy]

Actually, the best tasting pork are those that run wild in the hills and feed off the palmiche (which are the seeds of the palm trees).

[cocuyo]

Of course there are culinary treats in Cuba that are first class. I remember from my first trip, when we slaughtered a billy goat, and I have also at several occasions eaten whole roast piglet (lechón asado en púa) (in Miami as well). But those are the delicacies that are prepared at home and traditionally. A pit is dug for the fire, and the animal is turned slowly over the glow for a few hours. The last time I had it was in Mayarí Arriba (Segundo Frente), where Raúl already has his name on the stone.

And everything in Cuba is not counterfeit. When I first went there, it was for the music, and it's amazing how many really good musicians the island has raised. But maybe it's not a wonder, because a musician can easily earn ten times or more of what a doctor earns, and even mediocre musicians will make better money in the street than any worker's wages. I have met a few, and I'd like to give one example. Someone might think of it as a "cover", but I remember at least two of the songs in this potpurri from the fifties, when I was a kid and my father used to sing them. So if anyone made a cover, it's Julio Iglesias. The singer here is one of those that sing in the bars of Santiago and Palma Soriano to make ends meet. It is one of those occasions where the "copy" is better than the "original". Viqui, the singer (male) of Cuarteto 5 Estrellas is the best tenor I ever heard, and Sr Iglesias isn't even a bleak copy. The guitarist, Juan Carlos, is also one of the very best musicians I ever heard. I met him briefly on my last trip, he earns his money in Europe now. That's the reason why so many turn to music. It is one of the ways to live a fairly decent life in Cuba, and it is one of the ways to get out of there.

The song can be downloaded at http://web.comhem.se/~u77479609/03-Natali.mp3

And it's a pity that to have a really decent life, a Cuban must leave Cuba.

[beardo]

I have had many delicious meals in paladares and restaurants Havana. cocuyo - is your experience mainly Santiago ?

The best pork in a restaurant was in a place in Guantanamo.

Though far better has been the spit roast pig in homes.

Later, I'll relate the tale of what I was told was the best restaurant in Manzanillo.

[Mercy]

Beardo. You know I like you. But you are British dear. You guys have crappy taste in food. And, your warm beer sucks.

I have had nasty food at paladares. I remember one time a buffet breakfast at a hotel in Varadero. The Cubans were lined up taking bread and smearing it with mustard, ketsup, mayonaise and even butter; all at the same time. hmmmm.....

I prefer the home cooked stuff.

[beardo]

I too have had poor meals in paladares - but that is the rarity.

Once in a restaurant in France, I received this accolade from the restauranteur - "you cannot be Engleesh !".

[Mercy]

(Jan 31, 2010 06:24 PM)beardo Wrote:  I too have had poor meals in paladares - but that is the rarity.

Once in a restaurant in France, I received this accolade from the restauranteur - "you cannot be Engleesh !".

Need I say more. You must be an exception. I am sure the Frenchman was complimenting you.

[Peter]

I stay away from paladares and anything run by people I don't know, My relatives do the best cooking in the world, of course I send packages regularly with Sazon Completa and other seasonings and a lot of them grow their own.

But hotel food in Cuba sucks.