Okay, guess this would be a delicate issue to some. Hope I can get some serious answers anyway.
I met a girl in Cuba 6 months ago. She was 17. We fell in love. Now before anybody jumps up and bite me, I am 22 myself, so hardly think I am doing anything morally wrong here.
But legally, of course, a cubana must be 18 to be with a foreigner, and I have heard Cuban police come down hard on tourists who are with a girl under 18.
Problem is that I will be in Cuba in January (My stepdad is Cuban, so I have been 4-5 times). But after that I won't have the chance to go back for probably the next two years. I really want to be with her so much and am going crazy to see her. We e-mail and phone on a weekly basis.
We haven't had sex yet. I simply did not dare when I was there. But now for 3 weeks this January I am not sure I can resist.
I've read some crazy stories about some canadian men being sentenced to 20 years in prison for being with 14 year old Cuban girls. I find that disgusting (as the men were way older than me as I recall) but it is stories like that that frak me out. But surely the authorities can't look at being with a 14 year old and a girl one month short of 18 in the same way? Or can they?
What's my question here?
I guess something like this: Do i simply have to let go of her as the risk of being with her would be to painful? And if I can't resist, how would I go about it? Illegal casa? Car on the highway?
man I am a little desperate here. Really not in the mood for people to come down on me, as I said I think it's pretty normal for a 22 year old and 17-18 year old to fall in love. So just hoping that someone with similar experiences or knowledge of Cuban laws will respond or write to me in private.
Thanks for reading anyway. And congratulations to all of you who have great relationships with cubanos and cubanas -especielly if those relationsships are easier to be in than mine :-)
Christian
(Dec 19, 2008 04:14 PM)Cubakid Wrote: [ -> ]Okay, guess this would be a delicate issue to some. Hope I can get some serious answers anyway.
I met a girl in Cuba 6 months ago. She was 17. We fell in love. Now before anybody jumps up and bite me, I am 22 myself, so hardly think I am doing anything morally wrong here.
But legally, of course, a cubana must be 18 to be with a foreigner, and I have heard Cuban police come down hard on tourists who are with a girl under 18.
Problem is that I will be in Cuba in January (My stepdad is Cuban, so I have been 4-5 times). But after that I won't have the chance to go back for probably the next two years. I really want to be with her so much and am going crazy to see her. We e-mail and phone on a weekly basis.
We haven't had sex yet. I simply did not dare when I was there. But now for 3 weeks this January I am not sure I can resist.
I've read some crazy stories about some canadian men being sentenced to 20 years in prison for being with 14 year old Cuban girls. I find that disgusting (as the men were way older than me as I recall) but it is stories like that that frak me out. But surely the authorities can't look at being with a 14 year old and a girl one month short of 18 in the same way? Or can they?
What's my question here?
I guess something like this: Do i simply have to let go of her as the risk of being with her would be to painful? And if I can't resist, how would I go about it? Illegal casa? Car on the highway?
man I am a little desperate here. Really not in the mood for people to come down on me, as I said I think it's pretty normal for a 22 year old and 17-18 year old to fall in love. So just hoping that someone with similar experiences or knowledge of Cuban laws will respond or write to me in private.
Thanks for reading anyway. And congratulations to all of you who have great relationships with cubanos and cubanas -especielly if those relationsships are easier to be in than mine :-)
Christian
I think if you are going to date an under age girl and you are of age, you have to do the correct thing and hold off. Anything else and you are no more mature than she is. When you play in the shallow end of the pool this is what happens. Try playing in the deep end sometime....much less worries.....well, at least about going to jail anyway.
AK
[/quote]
I think if you are going to date an under age girl and you are of age, you have to do the correct thing and hold off. Anything else and you are no more mature than she is. When you play in the shallow end of the pool this is what happens. Try playing in the deep end sometime....much less worries.....well, at least about going to jail anyway.
AK
[/quote]
Thank you for the 'adult' answer. But holding off is not easy when you're in love, well, itøs a lot easier said than done at least. And if you know you won't be seeing her for a long, long time after she turns 18, even harder.
So can't just take this answer as the advice on what to do. Hoping someone else has ideas.
(Dec 19, 2008 05:53 PM)Cubakid Wrote: [ -> ]Thank you for the 'adult' answer. But holding off is not easy when you're in love, well, itøs a lot easier said than done at least.
LMAO.....yea, you are the only one who has ever had that feeling.
Quote:And if you know you won't be seeing her for a long, long time after she turns 18, even harder.
You will be lucky if she even remembers your name
Quote:So can't just take this answer as the advice on what to do. Hoping someone else has ideas.
There are only 2 answers this question.....go for it or not go for it. You want someone to tell you to go for it. You are an adult, even though you don't sound like it here. You know what's right and wrong or you wouldn't be asking the question.
If you think you can't wait to be with her, wait till bubba benitez gets ahold of you in jail.
I personally think you need to grow up.
AK
(Dec 19, 2008 04:14 PM)Cubakid Wrote: [ -> ]Okay, guess this would be a delicate issue to some. Hope I can get some serious answers anyway.
I met a girl in Cuba 6 months ago. She was 17. We fell in love. Now before anybody jumps up and bite me, I am 22 myself, so hardly think I am doing anything morally wrong here.
But legally, of course, a cubana must be 18 to be with a foreigner, and I have heard Cuban police come down hard on tourists who are with a girl under 18.
Problem is that I will be in Cuba in January (My stepdad is Cuban, so I have been 4-5 times). But after that I won't have the chance to go back for probably the next two years. I really want to be with her so much and am going crazy to see her. We e-mail and phone on a weekly basis.
We haven't had sex yet. I simply did not dare when I was there. But now for 3 weeks this January I am not sure I can resist.
I've read some crazy stories about some canadian men being sentenced to 20 years in prison for being with 14 year old Cuban girls. I find that disgusting (as the men were way older than me as I recall) but it is stories like that that frak me out. But surely the authorities can't look at being with a 14 year old and a girl one month short of 18 in the same way? Or can they?
What's my question here?
I guess something like this: Do i simply have to let go of her as the risk of being with her would be to painful? And if I can't resist, how would I go about it? Illegal casa? Car on the highway?
man I am a little desperate here. Really not in the mood for people to come down on me, as I said I think it's pretty normal for a 22 year old and 17-18 year old to fall in love. So just hoping that someone with similar experiences or knowledge of Cuban laws will respond or write to me in private.
Thanks for reading anyway. And congratulations to all of you who have great relationships with cubanos and cubanas -especielly if those relationsships are easier to be in than mine :-)
Christian
Have you spoken to your step-dad about this? If so, what's his opinion?
[/quote]
Have you spoken to your step-dad about this? If so, what's his opinion?
[/quote]
Yes I have. He is a Cuban exile who has moved because he hates the system. So you could maybe guess what he thinks as he is just a bit paranoid. He thinks Fidel will find me personally and castrate me :-)
I am going to ignore the post by Angelking. I have no idea why you even want to spend your time answering when this is your best shot. If I was not grown up, I would go for it. Since I am grown up, I do research. Off course, I am 22 so how wize can I be yet?
I know whats right and wrong in my mind, and in my mind it's not the least bit wrong. I am sure many of you have had girlfriends/wives who were/are 4-5 years younger or more. But what's right for me may be a crime punishable by death by Cuban standards.
And this is what I am trying to find out. If the law is there, but not enforced. If being with a 17 year old girl is the same kind of crime as being with a much younger girl.
I thought someone might even have personal experiences or know about law. If Cuban law differentiates or if everything under 18 is seen as some sort of pedo-thing.
Have you spoken to your step-dad about this? If so, what's his opinion?
[/quote]
Yes I have. He is a Cuban exile who has moved because he hates the system. So you could maybe guess what he thinks as he is just a bit paranoid. He thinks Fidel will find me personally and castrate me :-)
I am going to ignore the post by Angelking. I have no idea why you even want to spend your time answering when this is your best shot. If I was not grown up, I would go for it. Since I am grown up, I do research. Off course, I am 22 so how wize can I be yet?
I know whats right and wrong in my mind, and in my mind it's not the least bit wrong. I am sure many of you have had girlfriends/wives who were/are 4-5 years younger or more. But what's right for me may be a crime punishable by death by Cuban standards.
And this is what I am trying to find out. If the law is there, but not enforced. If being with a 17 year old girl is the same kind of crime as being with a much younger girl.
I thought someone might even have personal experiences or know about law. If Cuban law differentiates or if everything under 18 is seen as some sort of pedo-thing.
[/quote]
Where in Cuba do these people live? What kind of jobs do her parents or other relatives have, if they work? Does she go to school? If so, what kind of school/what does she study?
(Dec 19, 2008 07:30 PM)Cubakid Wrote: [ -> ]I am going to ignore the post by Angelking. I have no idea why you even want to spend your time answering when this is your best shot. If I was not grown up, I would go for it. Since I am grown up, I do research. Off course, I am 22 so how wize can I be yet?
Well lets see shall we, your stepfather told you you should back off. I told you you should back off. The problem as I see it is you don't like the answers so you choose to ignore it.
You say you are grown up, then you question how wise you can be at 22?
17 year olds are for looking at, not raping. Like it or not, that is what the crime would be, statutory rape.
Grow up.
AK
(Dec 19, 2008 09:14 PM)Dr. J Wrote: [ -> ]Where in Cuba do these people live? What kind of jobs do her parents or other relatives have, if they work? Does she go to school? If so, what kind of school/what does she study?
I am sorry, but how is this relevant?
(Dec 20, 2008 07:22 AM)angelking Wrote: [ -> ]Grow up.
AK
You are truly an uncharming arrogant human being. I am thrilled that I don't know you.
Why do you answer when you know nothing about the issue?
What I see here is some old arse jealous that he (or even she) can only be with 50-year olds... And this is why you choose to make me out to be immature.
Why don't you go and spend your time on something positive? Sounds like you have way too much time on your hands. What a sorry looser.
I asked a ligitemate question about Cuban law. If anybody can help I would appreciate it. If you can't help then stop trolling forums like some kind of moral overseer. I am 22 + 1 month, she is 18 - 2 months. That is four years apart. I am not 72 like you.
People, sorry for the bad vibe this thread has created. Was definately not my intention. I should have known better than to ask a question like this. Chances of a usuful answer were slim and chances of the question dragging out idiots was too big. Sorry.
(Dec 21, 2008 08:18 AM)Cubakid Wrote: [ -> ]You are truly an uncharming arrogant human being. I am thrilled that I don't know you.
I've been called worse by better.
Quote:Why do you answer when you know nothing about the issue?
uuhh....you stated what the issue was. It's not rocket science. You want sex with someone who is underage. Go to Wash. DC or Alaska, the age of consent there is 16.
Quote:What I see here is some old arse jealous that he (or even she) can only be with 50-year olds... And this is why you choose to make me out to be immature.
I am married with two kids, a homeowner, and have a successful career. You want to sleep with a 17 year old. Who is immature?
Quote:Why don't you go and spend your time on something positive? Sounds like you have way too much time on your hands. What a sorry looser.
And you call me immature?
Quote:I asked a ligitemate question about Cuban law. If anybody can help I would appreciate it. If you can't help then stop trolling forums like some kind of moral overseer.
You asked a question...you didn't like the answer. Noone is going to tell you in a public forum to go have sex with underage girls.
Quote:I am 22 + 1 month, she is 18 - 2 months. That is four years apart. I am not 72 like you.
If you were 18, that would make her 14. You still think it is okay? Oh, I am 49. Will be 50 on Saturday the 27th.
Quote:People, sorry for the bad vibe this thread has created. Was definately not my intention. I should have known better than to ask a question like this. Chances of a usuful answer were slim and chances of the question dragging out idiots was too big. Sorry.
Apology accepted.
Now grow up.
Ak
(Dec 21, 2008 08:18 AM)Cubakid Wrote: [ -> ][quote='Dr. J' pid='20149' dateline='1229739272']
Where in Cuba do these people live? What kind of jobs do her parents or other relatives have, if they work? Does she go to school? If so, what kind of school/what does she study?
I am sorry, but how is this relevant?
In Cuba all of the above factors will disproportionately over determine how likely it is that someone will get in trouble for something vs. have it be overlooked. I was just trying to help you assess your risk factors. But if you simply want to get offended at ME, and insist that none of these things should/could matter, it's totally up to you.
Quote:I've been called worse by better.
I am positive you have.
Quote:uuhh....you stated what the issue was. It's not rocket science. You want sex with someone who is underage. Go to Wash. DC or Alaska, the age of consent there is 16.
Only problem is I am not in love with anyone from DC or Alaska. Love must come easy to you. Which - given your nature - does come as a surprise to me.
Quote:I am married with two kids, a homeowner, and have a successful career. You want to sleep with a 17 year old. Who is immature?
Congratulations with your home and your career. That is very relevant and does leave me breathless. Realizing you are not homeless, all of the sudden I have great respect for you.
Quote:You asked a question...you didn't like the answer. Noone is going to tell you in a public forum to go have sex with underage girls.
You didn't answer anything. You just saw someone you figured you could hazzle and use to show other people your high standards of morale. If you have no way to help, then why donøt you spend time with your kids and wife and work on that big garden outside your mansion? I know if I had all that stuff around me, I would prioritize my troll-time on the internet differently than just surfing around for people I can annoy.
Quote:If you were 18, that would make her 14. You still think it is okay? Oh, I am 49. Will be 50 on Saturday the 27th.
Congratulations on your birthday old-timer. Now I could ask in another way? How old is your wife? If she is a day below 45 you are a pervert. If she is not, I hope you don't have friends, family or colleagues with a sick age-gap like that of 4 years.
And to answer your questions. I donøt see it happening, no, but I am sure that normal 18 year old boys have fallen in love with 14 year old girls sometime through history.
To sum up: You bothered me before, but I found out you are very amuzing. Please keep hazzling me. Please keep telling us private stuff about your family to back up your status as a superior human being. LOL. You rock man.
(Dec 21, 2008 01:10 PM)Dr. J Wrote: [ -> ]I am sorry, but how is this relevant?
In Cuba all of the above factors will disproportionately over determine how likely it is that someone will get in trouble for something vs. have it be overlooked. I was just trying to help you assess your risk factors. But if you simply want to get offended at ME, and insist that none of these things should/could matter, it's totally up to you.
I actually meant that genuinly and not like it probably came off. I am not a native English speaker, so... Would naturally like to answer if that would help.
(Dec 19, 2008 09:14 PM)Dr. J Wrote: [ -> ]Where in Cuba do these people live? What kind of jobs do her parents or other relatives have, if they work? Does she go to school? If so, what kind of school/what does she study?
They live in Habana. Mother is a nurse, father works at some fish factory (and stinks, lol). She goes to school, yes. Don't know what that grade is called in Cuba, but it's like high school senior year. She wants to study medicin from next summer. Her family is pretty cool, but also pretty poor. They (and she) never ask anything of me, though, which I have much respect for seeing how easy it is for many Cubans to ask foreigners they don't even know for all kinds of stuff.
To add on (and somewhat in reply to the morally superior poster above), I am not just thinking of sex here. Been to Cuba lots of time, and well, if sex was what I wanted there would probably be good chances with about 100,000 girls over 18 (and better looking!). It's also sometimes pretty unconfortable just to sit around outside her house and talk because I am afraid that is illegal too. Or you know, if a kiss could get her or me in trouble...
For what it's worth, and to answer your question, I've always heard the age of consent in Cuba was 16 between Cubans but 18 for foreigners. I typed in "age of Consent in Cuba" with Google and it confirmed my believe.
http://wiki.answers.com/Q/What_is_the_le...ed_in_cuba
(Dec 21, 2008 05:31 PM)Cubakid Wrote: [ -> ][quote]Congratulations on your birthday old-timer. Now I could ask in another way? How old is your wife? If she is a day below 45 you are a pervert. If she is not, I hope you don't have friends, family or colleagues with a sick age-gap like that of 4 years.
I never said anything about an age gap. It is the underage thang that is the problem.
Don't worry, one day you will grow up and act like a man instead of a lovesick teenager. If not, and you go through with your plan you will grow up fast in prison.
AK
To the OP: it is actually pretty unlikely that anything would happen to either her or you should you decide to 'consummate' this 'relationship', although yes, on paper, IT IS AGAINST THE LAW for any foreign visitor to bed any Cuban under 18, no matter how close to 18 the cuban is, or how old and/or fugly the foreigner is.
Given the state of Cuban jails I would either find myself a partner over 18, OR, if I was 'hopelessly in love' with someone underage (unlikely), I would JUST RESTRAIN MYSELF, AND KEEP IT IN MY PANTS.
In real life most (NOT ALL) Cubans, of both sexes, are sexually active by the age of 13/14/15 and nobody sees it as any kind of a big deal, but as you must already know by now, the rules are very very different when a foreigner is involved. If you bed this girl you MAY be opening yourself up to being targeted for any number of scams and blackmail.
More to the point - you say that it 'wouldn't have been hard' to find a girl over 18, but you are willing to risk prison, blackmail and a whole heap of problems because you're so stuck on this particular one. Then you also say you'll have no chance of going back to Cuba for another 2 years. So think about it: if you DO sleep with her, even if you don't get into any legal trouble, how have you made your life any better? (apart from quick physical relief of course....). If you end up falling even deeper in love with her, you'll just be spending your time until your next Cuban visit suffering even worse. So, it looks like pretty much the definition of a no-win situation, to me.
Sorry, but I am not going to just say "hey, it's Cuba, do what the hell you want, they'll bend the rules for a horny foreigner as long as he's young and hot enough" - which I have a feeling is the answer you'd like to hear. Shame the world doesn't actually work like that.
I repeat: find yourself a girl of legal age or WAIT for this one. Or, even better, fall in love with someone you have some realistic chance of spending actual time with!
Best of luck to you in any case.